Semi smart, earthy crunchy MAMA

...again.  She is the one person I couldn't share my news with.  It is such a bummer.  She was my hero, my inspiration and my mentor throughout school.  She was the original do it all lady.  5 kids, a bachelors, a masters....she did it all.  She truly was my hero. 

 It has been so hard the last few months.  Being a mom I think has only served to sting my wounds more acutely.  Everytime I spend time with my kids and hear them laugh or play with me I become eerily aware that there is a hole in my life that my mom onced filled.  I realize with a swift blow that I don't have the wonderful mom my kids have and that makes me sad.  I feel like I am still a kid in need of my mom's advice and comfort sometimes still.

I started writing a book...sort of a memoir, but it will definitely be fiction as the result of all the things that have occurred over the last 10 months.

Here is a snippet from the book for your reading pleasure.

"A life is a story, and though your body goes where we can not your memories replay a story which will never be forgotten. My name is Sunny and this is the story of my life; of lives lost, wasted and intertwined but never forgotten."

Stay tuned and I will continue to share this story with you.

They need no introductions, they just make me feel good.

I'm missing my mom immensely today. It was my first day at my job (first job in 4 years). I just wanted to talk to her about it so bad and couldn't. I started looking through the pictures of her (I love looking at her smiling back at me) and realized that when you are so often the one wielding the camera you hardly get a shot of yourself in there. I hardly ever mind this except for right now. All I want is a picture of me and my mom. However, my sister (HAPPY BIRTHDAY!) sent me some pics of my mom and I snuck in one. Here were are just a few days before she passed away. Oh, how I miss her. CANCER SUCKS!

The girls and I were on our way to a friends house today and I was flipping through radio stations (in an attempt to dominate the radio for at least 5 minutes) when Maelin said, "I like this one" and I promptly backed up to the blues station. I immediately thought of my mom. She loved blues. I found myself saying, "Maelin did you know Grama Treasie loves blues?" Maelin said, "We should play it for her one day, she would love that." And I thought to myself what a great idea. And just like that we decided that one day we would go to the cemetery and bring a radio to play my mom blues music. Maelin is so thoughtful and I am ever so glad I have her to cheer me up.