Semi smart, earthy crunchy MAMA

Raya is 12 weeks old this week. I can hardly believe how fast the time flies by. I am so glad that Chris and I have been able to have so much time at home with the girls. It breaks my hear to think that Raya has to go to daycare at all and it re-breaks my heart thinking that we have put Maelin in daycare for so long. *tearing up*

So about Raya...she is gorgeous. We love her and she is a super-duper great baby. She has been sleeping through the night for 1 week now and it is AMAZING. She often sleeps 10-12 hours (waking usually only 2-3 times to nurse). She loves to be awake all day with us. She usually snoozes for 20 minutes when I put Maelin down to nap which is wonderful. She smiles the most beautiful smiles and even makes Maelin giggle with them. She coos and talks a lot, rolls to her right side and burps VERY loudly. She is the perfect little angel and we are so lucky to have her.

After a very trying day here at the Bloom house, I realized again why I should get the worst mother of the year award. Maelin would NOT take a nap, Raya slept a whopping 1 hour today since 8:30 this morning and I was just losing it. All afternoon Maelin was whining and crying and carrying on (read = way over tired) when I just couldn't take it anymore and I told her to go up to her room. She wasn't listening so I raised my voice. She proceeded to whine up to her room. It suddenly got quiet and I thought better of my demand and yelled for her to come downstairs. She wasn't listening so I had to resort to counting 3-2-1-0...we count down because once you get to 0 there is nowhere to go. Anyways, I apologized to her this afternoon for "raising my voice" and Maelin said, "you screamed at me". It made me feel awful. Our house is no longer harmonious. I can't even imagine what Raya thinks of all of this, but I know it is freaking Maelin out. I am sure our tough day has got something to do with the fact that she has woken up 3 times already in hysterics. I feel so bad. Any suggestions on juggling a toddler and an infant are welcome. I don't know if I am cut out for this. I can multi task at a lot of things, but giving quality attention to my children is not something I want to have my mind only half on the task.

Oh my gosh…it has been almost a month now since Raya was born and Maelin became a big sister. I can’t really believe it. Then again, I have been super busy with school, being a single parent most of the time and being tired. Maelin still loves being a big sister and although the last few weeks have been a bit tough at home with Maelin, I have been reading a book titled “You Are Your Childs First Teacher", and in it it reminded me to realize that Maelin is a two year old and that is all. Since then, life has been a bit more harmonious.

I have since been observing her and realizing that all of what she does is imitate us. For instance, I was telling Maelin the other night to take her fingers out of her mouth only to look over at Chris and see him with his fingers shoved in his mouth. Oh well, it could be a worse habit to have. So imitation is the name of a childs game.

Raya on the other hand is up as I type cranky and unsure of what she wants. Life is a very new thing to her and she hasn’t become comfortable with it yet. She is absolutely beautiful though and so much fun to look at. She sleeps an awful lot and loves to snack. Oh it is so wonderful being a mom.

Chris and I have been surviving on maybe 3 hours of sleep a night. Chris working and I taking care of Raya and Maelin and trying to get some school work done. It is interesting for sure.

It hit me today…I have to go back to school on Tuesday. It is so depressing. It isn’t even comforting to me that Chris will be home with our kids. I want to be. I want to be the one who gets to see them grow up, watch them and spend time with them. Somehow I convinced myself previously that going back to school was the right thing to do. Again I am at a point where I can’t even understand why. I am not just sad to be leaving Raya, but also Maelin. They are both so special to me in so many ways and I love them both beyond words. I just don’t want to leave either of them.

Maelin seems as though she has grown up so much in the last few days. She is truly not a baby anymore but a little girl. She is smart, engaging, loving and kind. I couldn’t have raised a more perfect little girl, and I certainly could not have done that without the endless support from my loving husband. Thank you Chris for supporting me, supporting our girls and loving them both as much as I do. You are a wonderful papa.

All my loves

Well, sure enough those natural contractions I was having got that big baby out of me and quick! It took just under 11 hours and I even got to spend a whole hour in a whirlpool tub relaxing. Read on, read on for more details….

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